Last week I caught myself right in the middle of a promise. I'd told someone I'd follow something up properly which meant that I would really engage with it and not just send a quick reply. Somehow, a fortnight went by and I hadn't done it. Not because I'd stopped meaning to do it. For whatever reason I just hadn't built anything into my days that would actually mean that it got done. I wrote it on my to do list and kept moving it and I wasn’t sure why.
Image: Carson Masterson, unsplash
This felt odd (mostly because I actually realised what had been happening) as there wasn’t a moment when I said to myself, “I’ve decided I’m not going to bother with this.” What was missing was something else entirely and I don’t think we're very good, individually or as leaders, at telling the difference.
We tend to treat sincerity like evidence. If someone clearly means it - if the intention is genuine (like mine was), we assume that they will follow-through or that at least it’s a work in progress. I’ve really noticed this in the last couple of weeks as I’ve been listening to politicians who are trying to do right by the people who elected them while working inside a big machine of policy, process, and competing constraints.
That’s the same conundrum on a much bigger scale with a bigger impact and bigger frustrations. Meaning to do something is completely different to being able to deliver it.
Some of this has to do with capability and that’s a very different thing from intention. Capability is a skill that's been practised often time and time again and it’s something we can call on when it’s needed. We don’t have to create it on the fly. But none of that capability will show up just because we state an intention out loud.
And, even where the capability is there, it doesn't operate in a vacuum. There's usually a machine of policy, process, and competing constraints sitting around it too. These can bulldoze our intentions and meaning well, without us even realising.
This means we’re just not ready to do the thing and that can feel uncomfortable, especially if we’re in a leadership position and we’ve made a commitment of some sort.
All this recognition isn’t necessarily going to help you make progress on the ‘thing’. But it might help you spot the gap next time. Where have you mistaken wanting to do something well for being ready to?
If this sounds familiar, let me know. I’d love to talk this through. Just press reply.